Food throwing is probably the ultimate test of patience for all parents. Almost every baby or toddler will go through this stage at some point in their early years and it will likely happen for some time. So it’s important to keep calm and prepare! If you’re wondering what you should do when your baby or toddler throws food, keep reading to find out!

Get Curious behind the WHY!

Your child’s behavior is always a form of communication. Sometimes they may not have the words to express what they are feeling or what they want yet. So it’s our job to tune into our child’s behavior and figure out what it is they may be trying to communicate and then support them in learning new ways of expressing their wants that are more helpful for everyone involved!

So why do babies and toddler’s throw food?

• To explore, cause & effect!
  • Your baby has just discovered gravity! Where will it go? What sounds will it make? Only one way to find out!

• To get a reaction out of you! (or a pet)
  • We have all been there! Your baby notices they can get a rise out of you when they throw food. Or perhaps your pet dog gets excited and has his mouth open wide wanting food? So naturally your baby or toddler throws food again, and again and again…Oh joy!

• They may not be hungry, may be full and getting bored
  • When babies and toddler’s are hungry they will eat and when they aren’t they won’t. Consider what your meal and snack routine is like at home. Is your toddler filling up on snacks throughout the day? Perhaps a tweak in your schedule may help!
  • Mealtimes typically should last ~20-30 minutes max. You can tell when your baby or toddler has become full or bored when you notice them slow down and begin playing with their food! This is your early warning that food throwing may happen soon, stay calm and prepare!

• They’re overwhelmed
  • Are the sizes and shapes of foods offered appropriate for your baby or toddler? Also consider the portion sizes on their plate. If your child cannot hold and manipulate a food well or feels overwhelmed or pressured by they may be inclined to toss the food. Remember less is more! If your baby or toddler is still hungry, they can always request for more; and what a great communication opportunity you’ve just created for them!!

• They do not like the food
  • In the mealtime division of responsibility you the parent get to choose what to offer and when to offer food, your child gets to decide if and how much they eat. I encourage you to always offer at least one safe food, this can be a food you know your child has eaten and has enjoyed previously. It is okay if they do not want to eat the food(s) you offer. The 5 words, “you don’t have to eat it,” can go a long way in ending mealtime battles.

4 Things you can do when your baby or toddler throws food

1. Remain Calm & Confident
   • This can be so challenging! I know easier said than done. But not reacting also goes a long way. You can certainly feel frustrated and annoyed, I have been there. Using a calm voice and keeping your body language and facial expressions as neutral as possible can really set the tone for how your child may react and respond.
2. Show & Tell where the food goes
   • When your toddler drops their food on the floor, do not react with anger, annoyance or frustration. Simply pick up the food, show and tell them where it belongs. You may say something like, “Your pasta stays on your plate.” in a calm and confident tone of voice.
3. Teach them what they CAN say to end their meal
   • Your baby or toddler throws food for a 2nd time! Now what?! Remain calm. Teach your child the language they can use when they are showing you signs they are ready to end the meal. You may say something like, “I see you’re playing with your food…” or “You’re throwing your food…” and then say, “You’re telling my you’re all done!” You may then ask, “Are you all done?” and see if your child says or signs the word. If they continue playing or throwing food then I would lead with confidence and end the meal saying, “Yes, we’re all done dinner!”
4. Set the boundary
   • Once you have said the meal is “all done” it is time to follow through and end the meal. You can take your baby or toddler out of the high chair and remind them, “dinner is all done.” Your child may become upset, cry, protest, and/or have a tantrum. This is normal. It’s helpful to remember in these moments that children are not giving us a hard a time but rather having a hard time. They are still learning how the world works and the rules of mealtimes. You don’t have to stop the tears. You can set respectful boundaries while supporting them through their big emotions.

Final Note

You now have a game plan for your next meal! When you notice your baby or toddler slowing down, begin playing, or reaching their hand over the edge of their high chair, remember to stay calm and confident. You are child’s best guide. I promise this phase won’t last forever. You got this!